Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Dark Army Marches On...

The Batiri: Obariyon, Kodama and Kobald

        Hello CHIKArmy, I hope that you have all been in good health since last we spoke! I also hope that you all enjoyed National Pro Wrestling Day in one capacity or another. Personally, as soon as the geniuses at Smart Mark Video get those shows up for MP4 download, I am going to be giving them money. Until then, it is business as usual at The Dark Match. So Tim Donst actually came in a very close second to UltraMantis Black in the poll that was at the bottom of the page. However, we aren't here to talk about Sad Sack Tim today. This is because while preparing to write up the Tim Donst blog, I received a rather troubling phone call. The other end of the line crackled with static, and all I could hear was low grunting. Suddenly I heard the distinct cackling of the Prince of All Goblins Kobald! Kobald told me that if I didn't do my next write up on the Batiri, that he would flush me down the Demon's Toilet. Well I'm a man of reason, so here is the year that was 2012 for the Batiri!

CHIKARA Debut - Young Lions Cup 8  August 28th 2010
Affiliations: The Dark Army (Kodama, Sinn Bohdi)
                  The Batiri (Kodama, Kobald, Ophidian, Delirious)

CHIKARA Debut: Eye to Eye  September 18th 2010
Affiliations: The Dark Army (Obariyon, Sinn Bohdi)
                  The Batiri (Obariyon, Kobald, Ophidian, Delirious)

CHIKARA Debut: Clutch of Doom  February 20th 2011
Affiliations: The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama, Ophidian, Delirious)

         Kobald was the first to wrestle from the demonic trio at Chikara's debut event, beginning 2012 with a match against one of the perennial favorites Jigsaw. This had to easily be Kobald's second biggest match, beside his competitive outing against Eddie Kingston the previous summer. After exchanging blows, Jigsaw super kicked Kobald back to Bled Isle, but not before Kobald put in an excellent effort. On the same evening Obariyon and Kodama competed in the main event against Fire Ant and Soldier Ant. The Batiri put up a hard fought contest, but in the end two high kicks and a Beach Break would end their evening in a loss.
        During February the Batiri competed in two different atomicos matches. It was during the second in New York, that the Batiri were part of witnessing a pinnacle event in 2012. While squaring off against the Colony, Jigsaw and Mike Quackenbush, the mysterious and aggressive Gekido assaulted the technico squad. Wisely, Obariyon and Kodama stepped out of the way and allowed the Gekido to have their way with the technicos. Shortly after the events of February had concluded, the Batiri began to become rather tech savvy. Taking issue with royalty, the Queen of Wrestling Sara Del Rey, the Batiri began a twitter war. The demonic hellions, who had proven to prefer grunts and shouts in the ring, proved themselves to be surprisingly articulate when it came to social media. Claiming they had been mysteriously wronged by her, the demons antagonized Del Rey with lewd comments and pictures (my personal favourite being Sara eating the Chipotle burrito). You don't kick the castle of a Queen and not expect there to be royal vengeance. During Chikara's debut in the Great White North, Sara entered the ring with royalty from Bled Isle, the Prince of All Goblins, Kobald. Kobald and Sara fought back and forth, Kobald putting up more offense and determination than had been seen out of the goblin before! Using his trickery and skills achieved from the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, which he said he had been training in over the holidays, Kobald picked up the victory. Sara, for at least one day, had been tossed for her throne, and in its place sat a Prince.
        Sara's loss to Kobald only fueled the goat dung flames that burned in the wilderness of the Batiri. Their twitter assault only continued as more embarrassing photos surfaced. At I'll be a Mummy's Uncle, the first Chikara outing of April, Kodama prepared himself to attempt to humiliate the Queen of Wrestling. While Kodama was in the ring with Sara, Obariyon and Kobald lurked on the outside of the ring. Like ghouls from the mists, the Batiri attempted to interject themselves as often as possible. Even with the distractions, the cunning queen rolled up Kodama for the victory. Her win may not have been worth the trouble however. Post match, the Batiri assaulted Del Rey, throwing her into the ring posts.
        The series between the conniving demons and Del Rey now stood at one win a piece. This set up the inevitable confrontation between Sara and the brutish Obariyon. After suffering a loss to the cheating Mr. Touchdown at the Synergy event, Obariyon was full of rage and ready to do battle with Sara in Lafayette, Indiana. Sara fought valiantly against the demonic Obariyon, using her strong legs to throw heavy kicks. Ever devious however, Obariyon distracted Sara on the turnbuckle by licking her face! Tossing her to the mat, he leaped and struck her down with a vicious flying DDT, The Rapture. As soon as the match concluded Kodama and Kobald rushed to the ring with a rope. Hog-tying Sara, the Batiri looked like they were prepared to take Sara back to their cave to feed her to minions of Kobald. Before they could do any serious damage, the young luchadora, Saturyne, made the save. This might have put Saturyne into the graces of Del Rey, but it immediately made her a enemy of the demonic trio.
        The month of May was fairly quiet for the Batiri. In the ring anyway. They competed in two Anniversario matches, but their main prey Sara Del Rey remained within their black eyes. On twitter however they remained as obnoxious as ever, antagonizing del Rey and Saturyne every chance they got. Unexpectedly though, a fourth party interjected himself into the war of words: Delirious. A 3 on 2 handicap match had been announced for Chikarasaurus Rex: The Batiri vs Sara and Saturyne. On several occasions, Delirious commented on how unfair he felt this matchup was, even going so far as to tease making an appearance to even the sides. Finally June came, and on the world stage of IPPV, the Batiri stood ready to finish their confrontation with Sara and Saturyne. The pace of the match was a testament to the hatred that had built between these two factions. Fighting without tire, the Batiri brutalized Saturyne and left her ailing. Del Rey began to make a team comeback, but before either side could register a victory, the tease proved true as coming to the ring was Delirious. Having previously promised to destroy Ultramantis Black, he choke bombed Del Rey. The referee had not choice but to call the match, but Delirious's presence was an ominous one. Kissing each member on the top of their head, Delirious brought the fight of Ultramantis back to the Batiri.
        After aligning themselves with Delirious, the Batiri took the rest of June to enjoy the shady rocks and mosses of Bled Isle. Making their return in July, Kobald returned to compete in the Young Lions Cup. In Portland Maryland, Kobald outlasted two of his competitors, even eliminating the dance sensation Jivin' Jimmy, to stand with Anthony Stone. Stone and Kobald hammered the other with strong offenses, and it would have appeared Kobald would pick up the victory with the Demon's Toilet. It would not be for the goblin again unfortunately in the Young Lions Cup, as Stone pinned him after tossing Kobald from the top rope. In what can only be called a tragic upset, Kobald would have to wait for next summer.
        As many did, the Batiri used the remaining months of summer to prepare for the upcoming King of Trios tournament, which was to be held in September. The first out of three warm up matches was against the recently aligned, all be it by DOF Wink, BooyAkuma (Shane Matthews, Scott Parker and Gran Akuma). Unlike most of the Wink concoctions, BooyAkuma were working as a cohesive unit, and had the match nearly in hand. This was until Delirious came from the back and attacked Akuma, who was on the turnbuckle. Summoning Ophidian from the locker room, Delirious and his newly recruited Dark Army proceeded to beat down the members of BooyAkuma. In a single and powerful gesture, Delirious sent his message to Mantis: that the new Batiri would be a formidable opponent. August came and delivered two trios matches for the Batiri. who were no longer were traveling as a trio. Ophidian, the appointed ring general of Delirious' army, now slithered along. In Milwaukee, the Batiri did battle with the newly formed Colony, who were just getting Fire Ant back after a long summer of recovery. Their new leadership showed as the trio demonstrated a sadistic streak shocking even for them. Hoisting Green Ant onto his back, Obariyon tossed him into the air and down onto the knee of Kodama. This new and sickeningly fiendish move was dubbed, the Seventh Circle. The next evening in Indianapolis Soldier Ant suffered the same consequence as Green Ant, a knee to the back of his skull. After losing in the first round of KOT 2011, the Batiri had made their mark on Chikara, they would crush skulls to gain wins in KOT 2012.
        King of Trios came at last to the delight of the CHIKArmy, and the Batiri were prepared to take a war to anyone who opposed them. In the first round of the tournament they faced a familiar foe, BooyAkuma. Again, the oddly matched Wink trio fought well against the more seasoned trio of demons. To ensure their victory, their ring general Ophidian intervened in the match. Striking Akuma with a Meteora double knees, the Batiri were able to capture the win. With the Seventh Circle, the Batiri were dangerous enough, adding Ophidian into their fold had made them efficient victors. Night two of the tournament came and the Batiri stood across from their most hated rivals, the Spectral Envoy. In a match that was predicted to be a war in the finals, the crowd was treated to a monstrous brawl in this quarter-final match up. Like opposing rivers the trios clashed in a chaotic torrent, each trio using the moves they had been perfecting over the summer. Unfortunately for the Batiri, their efforts were not enough to stop the surging Envoy. This did not stop them from taking their revenge however. Post match, Ophidian blasted his venom in the eyes of Mantis, and Kobald dropped a Demon's Toilet onto the injured leg of Frightmare. Kobald cackled into the camera, if they couldn't win, neither could the Envoy. This message did not bode well for the Envoy, who were now advanced into the semi-finals. Though the weekend had ended for the Batiri in the ring, they were still going to be a part of the extracurricular events. The semi-finals came and Envoy had bested F.I.S.T to reach team ROH. This wouldn't do for Delirious' Dark Army. Part way into the match the Batiri skulked onto the entrance ramp and proceeded to the ring. What they didn't know was that Crossbones, the Heavy Weight Horror, stood behind them. Tossing Delirious into a ring post, Crossbones cleared the Batiri off the ramp. Making their way onto the floor and near the ring, the Batiri had a Jackson brother suplexed down onto them. It was a miserable day for the demonic tribe, as the Envoy completed the long tournament with a victory. This would not sit well with Delirious or his newly ordered brood.
        October brought the first match where the Batiri teamed with Ophidian. This was the first test as to whether Delirious' recruits could meld together. Taking direction well from Ophidian, the Batiri gained a victory over the odd team of F.I.S.T and Sugar Dunkerton. This match proved that under the guidance of their general Ophidian, Obariyon and Kodama could be ever more efficient in their destruction. The first post-Trios meeting between the two warring factions also occurred as Kobald faced off with Frightmare during Chikara's Alabama debut. Showing his rage over being unable to stop the Envoy win KoT, he struck a vicious blow in the war injuring Frightmare and putting him on the shelf for over a month. Their warpath continued into November when they found themselves intervening in another Envoy match. After picking up a win over the Soul Touchaz in their home city of Chicago, the Batiri were feeling especially fiendish and evil. Ultramantis Black and Hallowicked had gained another title shot, and faced off against the Young Bucks. This wouldn't do for the Dark Army, who, while unable to stop Mantis from gaining his King of Trios victory, were able to stop him and Hallowicked from taking the title straps from the Jackson brothers.
        Pleased with themselves, the Batiri entered into the final show of the season with great confidence. Ophidian, Obariyon, Kodama and Kobald had been progressing well as a unit. They had gained victories over several of the top Chikara teams, and stole a victory away from Ultramantis. Attempting to keep good on this promise to ruin Ultramantis, Delirious lead his cohorts into Under the Hood. In what was the match of the night, the Batiri and Envoy battled in a spectacle of brawn and ferocious tactics. It was obvious that the Batiri had learned to team with Ophidian, but Delirious's absence from many of the events was obvious. While the Batiri and Ophidian could multitask four man assaults, Delirious was not functioning efficiently in the group. The Batiri could not avoid having Delirious spiked into the mat, and they suffered their first major loss against the Envoy. 2012 had a bitter end for the demonic trio.
        I hope I did well, and that I don't get another raspy phone call from Kobald. 2012 was fantastic year for the Batiri, and I can only see 2013 being another spectacle of ferocity. Next up for the Dark Match is the always melancholic Tim Donst! Until next time, remember to tell your friends about the Dark Match and give me a follow on twitter @MurrayDarkMatch. Until next time, go back and watch Chikara, it's what I'm going to do!

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